Globetrotters
by Hrover
Summary: Read on as our heroes travel through worlds unknown in search of the missing Lina.
1. The Beginning

**Chapter 1 - the Beginning**

_In which nothing much happens._

Ein stood outside the Crystal Caverns, staring intently at a nearby tree, on which someone had carved a string of nonsense.

"Hrover does not own Riviera;The Promised Land" he read. "I wonder what that means..."

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Lina was bored.

No, scratch that, Lina was really bored.

Bored with the special kind of mind-numbing boredom that only the Sprites of Elendia could possibly fathom.

When you've just been running around Riviera fighting epic battles with vicious demons in a desperate attempt to save the world, coming back to Elendia was a total drag.

Elendia. A quiet peaceful village.

Elendia, which The Hitchhiker's Guide to Riviera describes as "A quiet peaceful village, population of well below a hundred, net exporter of crystals, applecots, signpost fairies and bottled spring water."

Elendia, with it's total lack of commercial facilities, educational establishments, medical centres, religious buildings and...

"Playgrounds" thought Lina, "Lina wants a playground, then Lina can play there with Gill and Molan and Ein and everyone!"

Pleased with her idea, Lina immediately ran off to tell her friends.

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Lina wasn't the only one of our heroes suffering from a case of Elendian boredom that day.

Serene sat on a chair outside Fia's place, absent-mindedly sharpening her ridiculously large scythe as she contemplated the fairy before her.

One of Elendia's signpost fairies, similar in appearance to Fia's housekeeper, Coco, but in actuality a completely different species altogether. These fairies were famous for their limited vocabulary, as well as their boundless patience and non-existent intelligence.

Serene had once made the mistake of asking Claude about these fairies. The dryad had seized the opportunity to show off his wealth of information, and it was a good hour before Serene was able to escape. In that hour she had learned more about the fairies than she could possibly have wanted to know. Their eating habits, sleep patterns, natural habitat, evolutionary adaptations, bone structure, lung capacity, average rate of hair growth, common diseases, life span, eye colour, and a hundred and one other things that she wasn't the least bit interested in.

It was said that signpost fairies functioned much like tape recorders, repeating the first sounds they heard over and over for the rest of their natural lives.

Rumours abound of the day Ritz got drunk on applecot wine and walked in while Claude was setting a new batch of fairies.

On some nights, it was said that if you sat outside the guild and listened really carefully, if the wind was blowing in the correct direction and the crickets were silent. Sometimes, you would be able to hear a thin, wispy voice singing "Don't Cha wish your girlfriend was hot like me?"

Of course, Ritz denies everything.

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Meanwhile, Fia was occupied with...housework!

The amount of useless junk lying about the house was simply amazing. The results of Lina's compulsive need to search for treasure as well as Ein's strange rock fetish now filled up a good amount of space, space which was in high demand as Ein and Serene were now staying in the house.

Fia had collected most of the junk and deposited it in a pile by the front door. "Now" she thought, "How will I get rid of this?"

Suddenly an idea came to her. A smile brightened up her youthful features as she extracted her rosary from somewhere about her body. Gripping it tightly with her left hand and extending her right in the general direction of the pile, our virtuous maiden prepared to use one of her overskills in a totally inappropriate manner.

As she closed her eyes and quietly recited the words to this familiar spell, Fia could feel the power rushing out from the crucifix, flowing through her body, and accumulating in the region of her right index finger.

"Evil ones, begone..."she intoned, barely suppressing a chuckle as to the absurdity of the situation, but trigger words were trigger words, she had to say them.

"Banishment!" cried the attractive girl with the impossibly green hair, as light spread out from her outstretched hand, travelling towards the pile of junk at the speed of...well...light.

It was unfortunate that Lina chose this exact moment to walk into the house.


	2. An Unfortunate Accident

**Chapter 2 – An Unfortunate Accident**

_In which Lina gets lost, Fia gets in trouble, and Ein gets confused_.

Cierra's study of magic was going extremely well. In the months following the return of our heroes, the Scarlet Witch had made considerable progress in the arcane arts.

Today, however, as she pored over the ancient texts in the magic guild's library, she came across a phrase that completely and totally stumped her.

"Hrover does not own Riviera-The Promised Land" she read. What the heck could it mean?

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Serene was currently attempting to have a conversation with the fairy hovering outside Fia and Lina's house.

"Hi there! What's your name?" asked our winged avenger in an uncharacteristically chirpy tone.

"This is where Fia and Lina live" replied the generic looking fairy.

"I know, I live here too, ya know?" the now-annoyed Arc was rapidly regretting starting this conversation.

"This is where Fia and Lina live" intoned the fairy. It really took it's job very seriously.

"Shut up, you-" Serene abruptly stopped as a bolt of yellow lightning streaked past her, nearly knocking her over.

"Lina, how many times have I told you to watch where you're going!" screamed the inappropriately named Arc, picking up a nearby object and flinging it straight at Lina.

"This is where Fia and Lina live." the fairy remarked as it spun through the air, in a definite collision course with the back of Lina's head.

It was unfortunate that Lina chose this exact moment to walk into the house.

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The last thing Lina remembered was the image of a young girl with impossibly green hair and matching dress. From the outstretched hand of this emerald beauty a blinding beam of light gracefully arced it's way towards her, in the blink of an eye it had completely surrounded the hapless Lina.

And then, she was gone.

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"You did WHAT!!??" screamed Serene as she surveyed the scene before her.

Fia was sitting on the floor, with her face buried in her hands. All in all, a classic example of the Oh-my-God-what-have-I-done position.

"I b-banished Lina. It was an accident, really!" cried our kind fencer, as she started sobbing uncontrollably. "I'm sorry!"

_Yeah, _thought Serene, _like I care about what happens to that brat._

Never at a loss, the astute Arc quickly controlled the situation with the judicious application of two sharp slaps to the face of the sobbing Fia.

"Now, calm down and tell me what happened"

A few minutes later, having gotten the entire story from a much-subdued Fia, Serene dashed out of the house, intent on finding the rest of her friends.

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And thus, later on, as the Elendian sunlight began to dim in anticipation of the coming night, we find our heroes, minus, of course, Lina, sitting around a table, discussing their next move.

Fia, however, could not concentrate on the task at hand. In between Serene's biting sarcasm and Cierra's cold icy stare, the young woman was quickly losing her composure.

"So, let me get this straight..." said Cierra in a dangerously quiet tone. "You 'accidentally' BANISHED Lina?!"

"Y-yes." Fia squeaked, resisting with difficulty the urge to lie down and assume the foetal position.

"Any idea how to get her back?" Serene asked. "Can't you reverse it?"

Fia whimpered, then slowly shook her head. The teleportation spell she had used had been designed for use against vicious, bloodthirsty demons, and for that reason was strictly one-way only.

The girls looked to Ein, the natural leader of their group. However, the angel seemed to be in a state of shock.

"How..." he wondered. "How could anyone possibly think of throwing my beautiful rocks away?"

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Author's Note:

And so ends the second chapter. The story line's moving at a snail's pace isn't it? Fear not! I'm sure things will liven up soon enough. Thanks for reading!


	3. Departure

**Chapter 3 - Departure**

_In which our heroes begin their perilous journey_

Ever since Ein restored her voice through the use of some traditional Chinese medicine, Meute, the former mute, had been getting the fairy LuLu to give her some free tuition in the English language.

Today they were working on her pronunciation.

"Now Meute, repeat what I just said." instructed our willing tutor.

"Hro…ver…does not…own…Ri...viera…The Promised…Land…" the undine recited, clearly with difficulty.

"We're gonna have to work on that…" LuLu remarked, "C'mon, let's try again…"

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The four friends were still at the discussion table. No headway had been made, and they were no closer to solving the problem than they had been a few hours prior.

And then, just as it seemed all hope was lost, just when it seemed like poor Lina was doomed to spend the rest of her natural life in whatever god-forsaken place she was currently in, Fia had an idea.

Cautiously emerging from her hiding place behind the sofa, where she had lain safe from the murderous glares of her companions throughout most of the evening, she quietly cleared her throat.

"What if…" she began, and was rewarded with immediate silence. Fia shuddered slightly as she anticipated the possible reactions to her suggestion, then soldiered valiantly onward.

"Well… if I banished you guys as well, then you'd be able to look for Lina, right?" having said the above sentence, she quickly ducked behind the sofa, leaving only a few strands of her emerald hair visible.

"Oh, not satisfied with just Lina, are we?" asked Serene, in a voice dripping with icy sarcasm "Want the whole collection now, do we?" Obviously, it was that time of the month again for our brave heroine.

"Now listen here Fia," continued the hormonally challenged Arc. "I've known you a long time. And so I hope you won't take it the wrong way when I call you a bloody-"

"GENIUS!" interjected Cierra, clearly, she had been waiting for the perfect moment to hijack Serene's speech.

Having thus got the attention of everyone in the room, the scarlet skirted sorceress continued in a quieter tone:

"If Fia was to cast the same spell on us, we should arrive at a destination similar to Lina's. We'll be able to rescue her easily!"

_And besides, _she thought to herself _Elendia's getting to be really boring anyway._

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And so that was how our heroes found themselves standing together inside the village's magic circle, as Fia prepared to send them off into the unknown.

The varied emotional states of our characters is perhaps worthy of some mention. True to form, Cierra was in a state of barely suppressed excitement, while Fia was two minutes away from having a nervous breakdown.

She had originally planned on staying behind. After all, someone had to take care of the house, right? However, her plans had been vetoed by Ein, who now would not let Fia within ten meters of his rock collection, leaving her alone with it would be unthinkable. Why, gods forbid, she might even try to get rid of it again!

As for Serene, she was furiously sharpening her scythe, occasionally looking up to give Fia a meaningful look. Sparks flew from her whetstone, her scythe was now so sharp Ein almost cut himself just looking at it. The others avoided her. They knew from experience that Serene + Sharp Object + Murderous Facial Expression was one equation they simply did not want to deal with. S+SO+MFE RIP.

Fia decided to waste no time. Within minutes of arriving at the circle she had already prepared all the necessary components required for the banishment.

And so, for the second time that day, she produced a rosary from one of her pockets and began her spell.

"Evil ones, begone! _Banishment_!"

Only upon its completion, when she and her three friends were spinning through the void, blinded by the ever-present light en-route to an unknown destination, did she spot the fatal flaw in her plan.

_Oh gods. _she thought, moments before losing consciousness.

_How are we going to get back?_

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	4. Arrival

**Chapter 4 - Arrival**

_In which the author shows great unoriginality in the selection of chapter names._

Asgard, 900 years after Ragnarok...

Recently, there had been a surge in the number of secret societies in the Holy Land. Every two-bit wizard with money to burn was creating his or her own organization. Brotherhoods, sisterhoods, orders, clans, triads and other societies were all the rage among the fashionable crowd.

One of these societies had it's meeting place in a certain small dark alley. Every Saturday evening, its members would come from across the land and furtively make their way to a small grimy door located in the darkest, most forbidding part of the above-mentioned alley.

Whereupon a sly and sinister voice would hiss in a conspiratorial whisper...

"Speak the password, friend."

And always, always the acolyte seeking entry would reply with the same string of apparent nonsense...

"Hrover does not own Riviera - The Promised Land."

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When last we left them, our heroes were in the process of beginning a new adventure. However, let us now direct our attention to the object of their quest, the poor, maltreated Lina.

The girl had been dumped unconscious into a small clearing surrounded on all sides by dense woodland. She awoke to find herself in possession of nothing but the clothes on her body and a sizeable bump on her head. To add to her misery, dark clouds loomed above, bringing with them the prospect...nay, the certainty of an approaching storm.

It was at this point that she realised she wasn't alone.

Some soft but distinct cries were coming from directly in front of her. Further investigation led to the discovery of a small cat-like animal. Its fur was tawny brown with black stripes streaking across. Currently, the tiger cub appeared to be fascinated by a small flying creature.

"Welcome to Lina and Fia's house!" said the creature, and Lina instantly recognised it. It was nice to see a familiar face again, even if this particular individual only had a six word vocabulary.

The fairy too, was glad to see our energetic archer. The last few hours had seen her unceremoniously plucked from her usual position outside Fia's house and dumped in the god-forsaken forest. In addition, she had had to deal with the unwanted attentions of the little tiger cub, who was even now trying to swat at her with a clumsy, but surprisingly strong paw.

"Welcome to Lina and Fia's house!" the fairy said again, and in that one sentence managed to convey her total disgust and contempt of all living things. She waited for Lina's reply...

"Kawaii!!! Its so CUUUUTE!!!" cried the highly excited girl, having caught sight of the cub.

Apparently, Lina hadn't been paying attention. The girl had the cub locked in a tight hug. In total violation of animal abuse laws, the girl was slowly squeezing the life out of the poor animal. Lina herself didn't seem to notice the cub's frantic gasps for breath, so intent was she on properly appreciating its absolute adorability.

In the end, the poor cub was saved by the sudden appearance of its mother. Lina's eyes grew as large as saucers (let's assume for the moment that Lina does not have oversized anime-type eyes) as she took in the appearance of the new arrival.

The large predator was easily twice her size, from her angle she had a perfect view of its open mouth. Slowly loosening her grip on the cub, Lina had a sudden vision of being ripped apart by the tiger's razor sharp, 7 centimetre long canines. She made a small "Eep" sound in her throat that gradually became a quiet whimper.

Seconds later, the terrified nature lover was running for her life. Following close behind her was the tigress, clearly unamused by Lina's recent display of affection.

_Uh oh. _thought the small part of Lina's brain not currently involved in trying to stay alive.

_Lina's in trouble now..._

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**Author's Note:**

Hmm...Lina IS in trouble now. Hope you've enjoyed reading the latest chapter in the series, don't forget to review!

Oh, by the way, I find the first part of each chapter (the one which gets the disclaimer in) simply a joy to write. However, ideas are hard to come by though (even though its only been 4 chapters) so if anyone has any suggestions I'd greatly appreciate it if you'll drop me a message. Thanks in advance!


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